We're Back!

Monday, January 4, 2016
Hello, everyone! We're finally back!

We'd like to apologize to everyone since we just suddenly disappeared without any notice, and it has been months since we have posted anything on the blog. We weren't even able to read up on the books that were requested for reviews. We're going to start working on these while we still have the time before classes start. (Promise!) We were supposed to put up a post about the blog going on an indefinite hiatus, but we weren't able to have the time to actually do it. Sorry, sorry, sorry. :(

It was horrible on my part because early last year, I had a huge reading slump. I couldn't appreciate much the books that I was reading at that time, and I found myself starting to prioritize other things. I started to view book blogging as a chore, rather than something that I look forward to and enjoy. It really felt terrible. I love to read books, and being part of the book blogging community gave a way on how I can express and share my thoughts, rants and squeals about the books I read, and it was absolutely beautiful. But then, I didn't know when it started that I began to not look forward to reading new books, and it felt like I was only writing reviews like I was being chased after deadlines because I felt like there was a need for me to constantly post something new on the blog. I really hated the feeling, so I stopped. I stopped reading; I stopped blogging; I just simply stopped.

Latter half of the year, I found myself missing reading. I missed the times when I could just pick up a book and do a readathon on my own. I missed the times when I could just freely express my thoughts about a book. I missed the feeling of being able to find a wonderful book and share it to everyone I can share it to. I wanted to just read, read and read. I missed reading, and I missed blogging. It just didn't work out for me. I ended up only being able to read 20 books, which was very far from my goal of reading 80 books last year.

Last year was so terrible. I had a lot of subjects to take up, and three of them were major subjects. I had sleepless nights as I chased after every deadline that didn't seem to have an end, as I worked on various group projects, and as I studied really hard because I was failing. In addition to this, I had an unforeseen seizure so I had frequent visits to the doctor for check-ups. It was really terrible and stress overload.

I made a list of books I wanted to read, posted dates on my planner for review posts, and planned to post a lettering work every Tuesday. Nothing happened. I hated how I planned and had lots of things I wanted to do, but found myself accomplishing nothing at all by the end of the year. I loathed myself, the subjects I enrolled in, and etc. Basically, EVERYTHING. It felt like it was a me against the world sort of thing. And honestly? I don't want to have that feeling again. It was absolutely horrible.

So this year, I will:
1. Read as much as I want.
With the semester having ended and no longer needing to visit the doctor, I am free like a bird (YAY!) Well, at least for now, before school starts again on the 18th. This time around, while I still have lots of time on my hands (HELLO, BREAK. I LOVE YOU) I am going to read up as much books as I want. Yes, the books that I want, and not the books that I think I should be reading up.

2. Accept my reading slumps (and reduce my goal.)
It was frustrating to face a lot of reading slumps last year, since it felt like I couldn't write new reviews for what I have already planned ahead. So this time around, rather than concretely planning ahead on what I want to do by already marking the dates in my planner, I'm going with the flow. Sure, I'll still have a list of goals in my head, but I learned to accept that they aren't exactly written on stone. So if I'm still going to end up marking down dates for reviews (which I think the probability is very large, oops), I'll try my best to achieve them, but now, I know that I can still move them around or erase them. Last year, I had a goal of reading 80 books. This year, I'm setting it lower: 50 books. I can just adjust them as I go along the year, rather than getting intimidated by that big 80.

3. Do what I love.
I love reading. I love blogging. I love lettering. I've tried to incorporate all three in this one website, but I felt like I have a lot of things that I want to do simultaneously. It's making me feel tired and counter-productive.  I'm afraid that I'll lose the feeling of happiness in being able to do what I love because it is something I love. So, I won't. Rather than doing these things all together at the same time, I'm alternating them. I'm going to actually properly divide my time to reading, blogging and lettering. Sure, I don't know how this alternating scheme might end up for me, and I might even end up going back to doing all these haphazardly and simultaneously, but that's okay. I'm going to try my best to post new reviews, read up on all the books I missed out last year and the ones I wanted to read from way, way long ago.

It is truly wonderful to be back again, and I'm so pumped up to start reading! <3

So after that very long message from Pauline, I'm not sure what to say anymore haha! I guess my reason for stopping was the same as hers, because I started getting this nagging feeling whenever I was reading of having to write a review afterwards, and I gradually lost my desire to read. That, coupled with our increasing workload in school, got me doubting myself on whether I could actually balance my responsibilities. Compared to Pauline, I don't contribute as much on this blog, and the fact that I always felt short on time despite this had me wondering what was wrong with me. 

The answer's pretty obvious; I just sucked at time management, and I realized that I needed to deal with that before I could even begin to think about taking on more obligations. I'm kind of okay at it now, or at least okay enough to start thinking about blogging again, and that makes me feel really excited! 

Here's to a great reading year ahead! :)


Alicia said...

Glad you're back! I took a really long hiatus last year too but I'm back as well. It's good to be reading again!

Unknown said...

@Alicia: Yay, thank you! Definitely great to be reading again! :D

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